Both of the boys, as part of their TV Production class at
school, were required to write, storyboard and shoot a five minute film. It was an awesome project made even more
awesome by my insistence that I have a part in both.
Dylan’s Film, Zoo
Copz, was an action piece.
Unfortunately, I was only given one line. “We’re out of gas!” I tried to punch up the script by suggesting
that I say, “We’re out of fucking gas!” but I was told in no uncertain terms –
no. However, after a discussion with the
production team during which I heard, “He has to drive the getaway car, he
is the only one with a license,” I was given the role of stunt driver. This meant that I had to peel-out, or
whatever I could muster out of my 2004 Escape, in the cul-de-sac. We even posted security and crowd control to
make sure no little kids were hurt. I
did a great job.
Such a great job, in fact, that Chris gave the role of Mr.
Winkle in his film, The Slaughter of Good
Ole Richie, to me. Production was a pain in
the ass from the start. Besides some
technical issues, the leading lady (and my wife), Bonnie, quit after the first
day. Well, she didn’t quit exactly. Since we were behind schedule (we are so
Hollywood) she had to leave for a business trip. This meant I had to go to a neighbor and say,
“Dude, can I borrow your wife for about an hour for a movie?” This was met with raised eyebrows. I assured him there were no sex scenes (that
he knew of) and that I would have her back in one piece. Day two was called due to darkness. (The production budget for lighting was
zero.)
We finally wrapped filming today. (We had to delay the first scene because the
guy behind us was cutting his grass and the noise of the lawnmower was
interfering.) I only had a few lines,
but I totally killed it. In fact, I pretty
much owned the entire production.
I haven’t been in show business since I was cast as an elf
in 4th grade. But let me tell
you, it courses through my veins. It was
like a re-goddamn-awakening. I’m 43, but
I have no doubt these films will be the start of something big. Maybe the next Bourne movie. After you watch the clip, I’m sure you will
agree.
