Esquire Magazine routinely has a feature called “What I Learned” where some sort of celebrity or politician or other likewise engaging person posits some truths from their life in bullet-point form. I am not a celebrity, a politician and am barely engaging (at least when not drunk – and then I am often confused for annoying), but since none of this has stopped me before from shooting my mouth off, here you go.
WHAT I LEARNED, DAVE MEYER, CRANBERRY TOWNSHIP, PA
• Like money but never love it. But love spending it once in awhile.
• There are two sides to EVERY story – listen to both before calling bullshit.
• Tune, tune, tune.
• When it comes to time with your kids, quality beats quantity every time. (That applies to almost everything, actually.)
• You don’t have to like it to appreciate it.
• See your doctor every year.
• My dog is fifteen and routinely shits in the house now. You can’t stop loving something because you have to clean up after it when things are tough.
• Someone is always worse off.
• When someone is hurting, don’t tell them that – agree with them and let them know you are here when they need you.
• Alcohol has a warning label. Who reads labels?
• Don’t be afraid to say you don’t get Tom Waits.
• Pick your battles.
• “Serving Size” recommendations are total bullshit.
• A felony in Thailand rarely sticks.
• Your iPod has “Bette Davis Eyes” or equivalent.
• It IS the gift that counts.