Our world has been blessed with great orators: Winston Churchill (“This was their finest hour!”), John F. Kennedy (“If you believe-they put a man on the moon…man on the moon.”), Jenna Jamison (“I’ve never seen a plumber with such a large – tool.”) Their prodigious words stand the test of time and still evoke emotional upheaval. They are beacons that have guided us through our troubles and light the way for our future.
Then, there are the quotes I like; ordinary people saying extraordinary things. I have begun to jot down a few and want to share them. They are from friends, associates and strangers. They are all true – I wish they were mine.
“I smell heat.”
“I’m allergic to alcohol, I break out in handcuffs.”
“Those Koreans feed, house and give blowjobs to thousands of American troops, that’s why I bought a Kia.”
“Face it, Ken, there are grandmothers out there who have taken it in the ass.”
“Don’t forget, there’s a dead leg on the ass end.”
“I drank myself sober.”
“He was in between mouthfuls of French whore.”
“The donkey screamed and the children cried.”
“I don’t eat them; the doughnuts are for my horse.”
“As much as I like helping my mom out, I’m not cut out for this shit, man. I’d rather be working at a club, mixing it up with some hotties and a few drinks.”
“Not really sure where, but we drove a long way from Bangkok.”
“Ace Fraley and Bilbo Baggins are having lunch on the green.”
Hopefully (for me, maybe not so much for you) this is only part one. Keep your ears open because this stuff writes itself.