10,000 Views - A Brief Q & A

How it all started

As I reach 10,000 views of this blog, I think it is time for a little Q & A.

What do 10,000 views really mean?

Well, if the Blogger analytics tool is correct, it means that I had 51 page views that originated in Iran – which ties them with Brazil but puts them behind Russia. (Really) Not sure it means anything. I guess it means that I am only 50,000,000 views behind some bored housewife who blogs about pureeing carrots for her baby.

What makes you think you can write?

Excellent question. Nothing makes me think that. At the top of my blog I have written, “With Apologies To Actual Writers.” That may be the most sincere statement on the site. I can, however, type a bunch of stuff into Word and paste it into a Blogger template. (This formula is the bane of real writers everywhere.)

Why did you start this blog and doesn’t it embarrass you?

Cool, a two-parter. First, the story of why I started this blog will be detailed in my forthcoming book – which at the pace I am on may be published posthumously. And by “published” I mean photocopied at Kinkos. Either way, the answer may surprise everyone. As to the second part – not as much as when I fell into a reflective pool in front of twenty business associates because I was drunk.

Where did the name “Deluxemixednuts” come from?

A jar of Deluxe Mixed Nuts that was sitting on the desk when I had to title this beast - a poor decision and my biggest regret. Let’s be honest, the name sucks. I was listening to Alice In Chains that day and really wanted to go with “Sludge Factory”, one of their excellent songs, but I rightfully feared a copyright lawsuit. I guess it could have been worse; I could have called it, “MyWallet.”

What can we expect from that ridiculously named blog in the future?

I am currently working on the story of how my wife rescued me from a potentially catastrophic porn career.

Any last thoughts?

Yes. To anyone who has ever read this blog - thanks. I mean that. To anyone who has shared this blog – special thanks for torturing your friends –no one should suffer alone.  Thanks also to Kris Denholm, Joe Dungan, Rick Albright and Chris Whitney - real life writers, authors, photographers and artists.

Whenever I am complaining and thinking none of this is any good, my wife always says, “I think your writing is excellent!” Thanks, Bonnie. She does, however, think I swear too much. Fuck that, time to puree the carrots.