I Act In A Commercial - And Of Course Kill It

I know many of you have been wondering, “How is Dave’s acting career going?”  Well, let me tell – it is incredible. 

Coming off my killer performance in The Slaughter Of Good Ole Richie (This film is in very limited release.  Like, you gotta be in my son’s TV Production class to see it limited release), I was asked to star in a commercial for Kid Away. 

You’re probably thinking, “Wait, isn’t doing a commercial after a film a step back?”  To that, I say, “Talk to my son’s teacher.”

Anyway, the shoot was taking place on a Sunday afternoon.  As such, I was appropriately hungover from a party at our house the night before.  This adds a ton of street cred to my career.  It creates a “Is he going to show up?  Will he be sober?” vibe that keeps everyone on edge. 

I have cobbled together four unedited scenes, and the following is some back story on each to let you in on a bit of tradecraft.  This is sort of like “The Actors Studio” but way cooler and more intimate.

Scene 1 – I was directed to show “max frustration.”  Arguably, I may be showing “max constipation.”  However, there is no doubt – amongst anyone – that whatever I am showing is definitely “max” something.  This is just raw emotion people, deal with it.

Scene 2 – For a lot of actors, working with children can be a challenge.  It’s plain to see that not only am I up for the challenge, I fucking embrace it.  Those little ones will be talking about this opportunity for years to come.  God bless ‘em.

Scene 3 – One man, one camera, one line.  Raw, eloquent, daring.  The crew was speechless after this one.  It can be embarrassing sometimes.  I swear people were moved to tears.  It's cool if you want to watch that part again.

Scene 4 – (This scene took a few minutes to get going because the two actresses, upon seeing they were wearing the same outfit, had to say things like, “Oh my god! We are wearing the same thing!” and, “I LOVE yoga pants!”)  Timing was everything in this shot – and I have no idea why my hand was buried in my pocket.  (A subconscious nod to Alanis Morissette?)

I know you probably aren’t often granted this sort of access – this sort of “behind the scenes” (quotes intentional) stuff.   So, you’re welcome. 

Here’s the bad news.  I’m retiring.  Or more accurately, I’m being forced into retirement.  I was informed today the next project is something called Stop Motion.  Wikipedia defines that as, “an animation technique to make a physically manipulated object appear to move on its own.”  This would have been perfect for me the night of the party.