I was going to try and come up with a really good reason why, at 9:30 last night, I was laying in bed watching the Bachelor finale. “24” was on, but I have become used to DVR’ing that to watch Tuesday when I can get through the show in forty minutes. Truth be told, come 9:30, I am ready to lie in bed, and let’s face it, there are worse places to be than in bed with your wife on a Monday night. The consensus seemed to be that Jake, the bachelor, picked the “wrong” girl. However, when a raft of woman who share one of these traits; sexy, crazy or slutty, enter what amounts to a contest to win a husband, I am not convinced there is a “right” one on the bunch.
But here is really what perked me up. At about 9:50 they announced the new contestants for “Dancing With The Stars.” “Stars” of course is now apparently completely subjective. Anyway, here is the partial list:
1) Kate Gosselin – There is no stopping this train wreck from mucking up her kid’s lives, so I am not surprised. Does anyone else get the feeling she is dying to be trampy?
2) Chad Ochocinco (spell-check has a field day with that name) – At some point I expect him to lay his standard “I ain’t never been in no trouble off the field,” line to someone. To which I would love to respond, “Still doesn’t give you a pass on being an asshole.”
3) Pam Anderson – Breast residuals must be drying up.
4) Erin Andrews – I will be honest, I felt terrible for her being violated the way she was, however, I would have watched the video…anyone who says otherwise, at least guys, is a liar. Still, I find it odd after her whole experience she will now be showing more leg than a turkey processing plant.
But all this really just brings me to something I never thought I would hear. Somehow, someway, someone talked Buzz Fucking Aldrin into competing. How do you pitch this show to the second man who walked on the moon? “Mr. Aldrin? You know that service to your country and the whole crazy moon landing thing? That was all great, but just imagine the chance to compete on a dance show!” Even crazier is the thought that he said, “I’ll be damned! I love that show…sign me up!” So, I guess now I will wait to hear, “This season on Celebrity Rehab, Buzz Aldrin.”