Reporting, Recording and Relaying - But Always Telling It As I See It

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Cruise Ship Adrift or Luxury Vacaton?

There is a boatload of people adrift in the Pacific Ocean. An engine fire knocked the Carnival Cruise ship Splendor out of commission, ending the seven day Mexican Riviera vacation for thousands. Personally, I can think of no better sabbatical than being adrift on a luxury cruise liner in the Pacific. I have seen people spend twelve dollars an hour for a raft to float around a resort pool. You could be floating around an entire ocean for less.

What I do not get is the supplies that have been helicoptered in: Spam, Pop Tarts and canned crab meat. Just what unruly passengers are hankering for. “Come up to the Lido Deck, the Purser is making Pop Tart Crab Sandwiches!”

You can get fresh Ahi Tuna in Nebraska but they can’t get a flounder fillet to a boat in the middle of the ocean?

I wonder if when the power went out the Captain went around screaming about not opening the refrigerator door. When our power went out a few weeks ago during a storm I guarded our fridge like a Marine at Gitmo. “Do NOT open the refrigerator door!” I commanded, then promptly went into the bathroom and flicked the dead light switch – it was another peeing by sound event.

If I was one of the fortunate ones to be on this ship, my requests in this blessed situation would be simple: Pacifico beer and a fishing rod. You wouldn’t hear from me for weeks. I guess I would ask for oranges also, to prevent scurvy – whatever the hell that is.

I would ask for the Pacifico because it reminds me of a trip many years ago (the same cruise itinerary, incidentally – sans the drifting part) when some friends and I commissioned a one-legged boat captain to take us to this secluded beach in Cabo San Lucas. A Mexican kid materialized out of the rocks and sold us Pacifico – already opened.

Come to think of it, I would take the Spam. Spam, Pacifico, oranges and a fishing rod - all while adrift in the Pacific Ocean. That sure as hell beats a twelve dollar per hour raft.

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