“Do not eat frozen pizza.”
Right - good tip. Another good tip would be, “Drinking boiling water will burn.”
Also, you should “remove the wrapper before baking. “
Seems ridiculous, really. Or does it? In a time when P. Diddy is being sued for one TRILLION dollars for being responsible for 9/11 (Google it) one would think that the frozen pizza company who thoughtfully affixed these warnings was protecting is pepperoni covered ass.
I don’t think so. I think people can be really stupid. And far from being engaged enough to file a lawsuit, they might actually wonder why the pizza they plucked out of the frozen food aisle and bit into (with the wrapper on) was cold and hard (like Dick Cheney’s heart) and not warm and cheesy (like Bill Clinton’s) like they see on TV.
It’s reasonable to assume that if you are smart enough to buy a frozen pizza, you are able to identify the difference between foods that require cooking and those that don’t. But if this were the case, there would be no need to tell the consumer. No, I don’t think the pizza company was worried about lawsuits, I think they have a handle on the stupidity that can pervade our society.
“Do you think anyone would be foolish enough to eat this without cooking it?” asks pizza executive number one.
“I absolutely do,” says pizza exec number two.
“You don’t think they will realize that it’s frozen and that it should be hot?”
“You willing to bet your 401(k) on that?”
“You’re right,” says number one as he picks up his phone. “Larry? Hey there. We decided - get the warning on there. What? Yeah, put the one on about the wrapper too.”
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